How good are you in managing your emotions?It can spell the difference between getting that promotion or not
It’s the first Wednesday of the month and the team is ready to have its monthly team meeting. Rosie, the lady in charge of the projector, was running around like mad as she could not find the projector lead which she thought she had packed with the projector. The department head, Helen was going to join the meeting and speak on pay increases among other things. Everyone was excited to be in the meeting, except Rosie who thought one colleague, Mark, had taken the lead out of the bag for whatever reason. Now she was fretting, her mind kept turning to Mark sabotaging her role since she complained about him for coming late almost always when he is at work. She concluded that he wanted her fired, and what better way than to make her look incompetent in front of the department head. Fuming, livid, she turned to Helen, and hysterically cried that Mark was a devious snake who wanted her fired.
How many of us have had an incident happen at work where we say and do things before we even thought about the whole situation through? How many of us have displayed disruptive behaviours like being disrespectful to our bosses because we can not control our anger, or disruptive behaviours like storming out of meetings because someone interrupted us giving a point, or not finishing a project because one of our teammates was not serious about the job or acting like a douchebag.
Being unable to stop emotional outburst might be very common but it’s never helpful when we want to advance our careers in the company or if we want to move on to another company and need referees. People who have a better grip of their emotions, in other words people with high emotional intelligence, are more likely to succeed as they are better adept at managing themselves and their colleagues, making them more likable in the workplace. People trust them more.
So what does this mean all mean? Are you trapped, with a volatile behaviour just waiting to erupt? It turns out that being able to manage our emotions can be a learned skill. It starts with being aware of yourself and what you feel, when you feel it. The next step is knowing what to do with the emotion you are feeling, which is to stop and let the emotion pass. And that’s just the start.
Imagine our best possible future where people are emotionally intelligent:
Think of a non toxic work environment where people's energy is directed towards work instead of fending off office gossip. Think of a team where the members respond to challenging issues instead of reacting to it. No more bad moods in the office. No more walking on eggshells around your boss. Think of a community where everyone is so emotionally attuned that there is no more squabbling at council meetings.There would be no more outbursts at home too. Heaven!
Managing your emotions is part of the self awareness and self management skills you learn when you do a deep dive into improving your emotional intelligence. What you have done in the past is well and truly done.
The question is:
Do you believe you can never change in that department or are you motivated enough to want to increase your EQ? It starts with your decision to want to change.