A few months back, I had an important conversation with one of my senior staff members. She was tapped to be part of our training team, and I thought to give her a list of skills she needed to develop to be successful in her role. One such skill in the list was Emotional Intelligence. I told her I have a book she might want to read to help her with this. Naturally, eyebrow raised, she asked “ Do you not think I am emotionally intelligent?” I said, “well, I’m not implying you are not, but there are a few things you can learn from the book which will help you understand how to deal with issues as a trainer as they arise”. I lent her the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman.
The following week, I was greeted with a huge smile on her face and a pronouncement “ Guess what? I just enrolled myself in an emotional intelligence course online!” She was so invested in it that she saw the benefits of it right away. She has learned to manage her emotions and how she reacted when people pushed her buttons. It had naturally spilled over into our workplace, seeing her more able to manage herself, she was much happier and in control. I was naturally chuffed.
Which makes me wonder why this course is not offered to everyone and everyone. Think of all the pain and anguish and all the time saved from not whining and getting angry about issues you can not control. Or the things we can do so much better at work or in life if we knew how to handle ourselves in hot button situations. Or the anxiety we can avoid or not cause because we know our way around emotional issues.
Below is a list of the Emotional Intelligence Skills as outlined in the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves:
1. Self Awareness - being able to accurately perceive your own emotion in the moment, and how you react in the moment. It is knowing what makes you tick.
2. Self Management- your ability to use your awareness of your behaviour and act positively. It is managing your emotional reactions to situations and people. It is being able to see thru things without cracking.
3. Social Awareness- being able to pick up on people’s emotions and what’s really going on with them.
4. Relationship Management- successful interaction with others by using your awareness of your tendencies and others emotions.
Call to Action:
Every successful relationship calls for some level of skill in managing emotions, be it ours or our response to others.
Invest in your own emotional well being, and learn to be more emotionally intelligent. Read books, enroll in workshops and courses. Be more proactive in your life design.